First Unitarian Universalist Society of Albany
“Coping with Christmas”
Rev. Samuel A. Trumbore December 4,
2005
Green must now acknowledge
defeat.
Last brown, curling leaves, shivering, fall from the branch
Wind’s saw-edge cuts exposed skin
Damp earth freezes crusty hard and unyielding
Weak sun hardly greets the day before bidding it farewell.
Spirits reflexively retreat inward.
Defensive like a hermit crab, claw guarding,
Or determined like a chipmunk hoarding seed before hibernating.
Hurrying to houses, huddled in huts, hiding in holes.
Time to stir the fire, throw on some hardwood, tuck in the comforter
And escape into fantasy, Ahhhhhhhh,
Sandy beaches, palm trees, warm tropical waters,
Gentle breezes and orangey pink sunsets
Coconuts, mangoes, pineapple,
A new hibiscus flower every day …
Alas, not today.
We are here not there.
Winter will not let us go.
We, remember the “we.”
We need not face defeat
alone.
Sermon
The December festivals of light
have arrived to counter the darkness.
The merchants are stoking the furnace of good cheer. Get ready for the whole "Carol of the
Bells," Vince Geraldi Christmas music, corny holiday specials and
Dickensonian "God Bless us every one" speeches. The holiday train has
already left the station and is gathering speed. Woe to anyone who stands in
its way.
And yet some of us find
ourselves on a collision course with this season of celebration.
I’m not surprised when I find a
lack of Christmas spirit lurking in our congregations. Because we are individualists who don’t
follow the crowd, December holidays light up our resistance. Comedian Dave
Barry speaks for the cynic in me in his assessment of the holiday season as a
"deeply religious time that we observe in our own way, by going to the
mall of our choice." The
hypocrisy in full display offends me.
I resent advertisers attempt to manipulate my expression of love through
my credit card. Celebrating a holiday
of peace while we are at war in Iraq and Afghanistan troubles me. The extra items on my “to do” list just
don’t fit into the number of days I have before our family Christmas
celebration.
Sometimes the sources of
difficulty with the winter holiday season run much deeper. Cathy L. Seehuetter of St. Paul, MN writes:
Six Christmases later, I think I have run the gamut of
emotions. Of course, the first two Christmases after my daughter Nina died were
pretty much a blur. I do remember the first one; so desperately trying to go
through the motions and determined that my family would have as unchanged a
Christmas as possible. I would momentarily lapse into my grief stupor, only to
pick myself up by the bootstraps and zombie-like, plod onward toward my goal to
"normalize" an anything-but-normal Christmas…
That second Christmas I didn't have enough energy to even
run on empty. I felt drained and barely made it through necessary day-to-day
tasks. The Christmas tree made it out of the box that year, but sat undecorated
in the middle of the living room floor. Only when my son asked about five days
before Christmas, if we could either put some lights on it and sit it in its
customary corner, or just put it away that Christmas did I make an effort to do
anything with it at all. That year I didn't attempt to sugarcoat my emotional
state of mind I didn't pretend that everything was "normal."
If possible, we would cut out November, December and
January lst out of our calendars--just close our eyes and wish it away.
After a significant loss of a
family member or close friend, these holidays provide an abundant source of
grief triggers. What might have been a
joyful occasion in the past turns sour as it becomes a reminder of loss. Shopping, cooking, taking out cherished
ornaments, and decorating the house all becomes sullen rather than
invigorating. Making merry with friends
just isn’t attractive. Numbness,
fatigue, guilt and anxiety couple with sleeping problems. Nothing seems worth the effort anymore.
Some of you may recognize these
are the symptoms that go beyond holiday malaise. They describe depression.
I mention them this morning to help alert you to the signs in yourself
or those you love of a treatable medical condition. Feelings of sorrow and loss that can arise this time of year are
different from the pervasive and overwhelming feelings of depression. Recognizing the difference can help us
decide to reach out for help.
Later I’m going to invite you
to share your holiday traditions that help brighten this otherwise gloomy time
of year. These may or may not be
helpful for those of you who are coping with big losses. We need to respect the challenges of the
grieving process and make space for those for whom these holidays will be a
hardship this year.
A milder form of the holiday
blues may be more easily treated. In
fact one reason these holidays were created in the first place was to
counteract a problem that has a biological basis.
For some of us, one source of
trouble may be seasonal affective disorder, or SAD. First noted in 1845, it wasn’t officially recognized until the
mid 1980’s. The decrease in sunlight
length and intensity is thought to change the levels of melatonin, a
sleep-related hormone secreted by the brain’s pineal gland. This variation has been found to affect
animal’s hibernation and sleep cycles shifting their circadian rhythms. Researchers theorize that humans too can
have our biological clocks disturbed by seasonal variations of sunlight.
One way to cope with this loss
of light is to spend more time outside during daylight hours to allow more
light stimulation of our eyes. Many
affected by this condition respond well to phototherapy. They expose their eyes to strong optical
stimulation (natural or artificial) during part of each day.
Thankfully most of us aren’t
depressed or suffering from SAD.
Reading the tragic stories each morning in the newspaper of those
selected to benefit from the Times Union’s Christmas Appeal should have us
counting our blessings.
So what can we do to jumpstart
some holiday cheer?
Philomena, Andy and I were just
down visiting my parents in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania over Thanksgiving
weekend. Rather than shopping, we
visited the Brandywine Museum that houses the Wyeth family art. They had a huge model railroad display creating
a moonlit Christmas Eve scene including a miniature Santa’s sleigh flying
through the air. What captivated me was
a train with a wireless camera on the front broadcasting to a television
monitor. The camera fulfills the model
railroader’s dream of actually being in the cab of the engine as it travels
around the tracks. Beautifully
ornamented trees and displays of old illustrations of Clement Clarke Moore’s classic story,
“’Twas the Night before Christmas,”
blew gently on the coals of my holiday spirit.
Another way I get in the mood is by taking a family picture and
making my own holiday card. The
Brandywine River will frame the three of us this year. Sometimes these pictures have a humorous
angle. One year we took a picture in
front of the Christmas tree with antlers on our heads. Another was taken in Florida surrounded by
palmettos in shorts with Christmas t-shirts, and caps. And some years the picture has a message. The Christmas of 2001, we trekked to the New
York State museum to take our picture in front of a display of the twin towers.
(tradition shared by members of the congregation)
Our congregation has a number of events that will help chase the
blues away. Yesterday we gathered to
make wreaths and holiday crafts. I
particularly like making those little tiny boxes I’ve got here on the
pulpit. My inner engineer loves
calculating exactly how to make the top of the box look just the way I want it
with the subject properly centered.
Next Sunday we’ll be trimming our FUUSA tree after the service while
enjoying refreshments. Please remember
that will be a single service Sunday.
And finally, if you aren’t in the spirit by Christmas Eve, we’ve got a
special service planned. We have a new
and improved Christmas playlet for the family service courtesy of song writer
and musician Joyce Poley. It will be
followed by our candlelight service that cannot avoid touching the heart of the
most disaffected. Come for both
services to get a double dose of Christmas spirit.
I hope some of these ideas and opportunities will be helpful to
cope with the holiday blues. The most
important message I have for you is to let go a little and remember there will
be surprises you may not expect. We can
make our lists and check them twice, plan, decorate, bake, make vows about not
over eating – basically try to take command of the holiday. But what we really want is to be seized by
something completely irrational. The
mystery and enchantment, the anticipation and excitement, the warmth and
affection cannot be organized, scheduled and manipulated.
All we can do is make our humble offering in the stable of our
hearts;
Give thanks for the blessings and opportunities we have and
share that gratitude with those around us.
Changing the question from: “what can I get?” to “what can I
give?” is all it takes to transform the season and catch its spirit.
Let this season of preparation
and anticipation
Not be a burden on our hearts.
The sun’s diminished brilliance
Need not cast a shadow over our spirits.
Tend the eternal flame that burns within.
Give it fuel! Turn up the wick!
Lift the bushel basket and let it shine!
And if all else fails,
May the Spirit of Life find us
And
remind us of what we truly are.
Copyright © 2005 by Rev. Samuel
A. Trumbore. All rights reserved.