First Unitarian Universalist Society of Albany

“Taking Refuge”

Rev. Samuel A. TrumboreOctober 10, 2004

Reading

The Prodigal Son (Luke 15: 11-32 King James Version)

Then Jesus said: "A certain man had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, 'Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.' So he divided to them his livelihood.

And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living.But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want.

Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.But when he came to himself, he said, 'How many of my father's hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants." '

And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.'

But the father said to his servants, 'Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' And they began to be merry.

Now his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to him, 'Your brother has come, and because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf.'But he was angry and would not go in. 

Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him. So he answered and said to his father, 'Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends. But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him.'

Then the father said to him, "Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found.' 

Sermon

This sermon honors people who have known failure and through it found love.Failure can be capricious and strike the blameless but more often failure follows the course of the Prodigal Son who makes unwise choices.Money ill-spent, unhealthy habits indulged, hazardous relationships cultivated, time unproductively squandered, all contribute to the failure to thrive.And then the famine comes.Hungry, cold, hollow and fearful, the Prodigal Son (or daughter) seeks out refuge.

This story chaffs against the Puritan spirit of independence and self-reliance often found among us.I suspect many of us would identify with that hard working, obedient brother.A fine upstanding member of the community he is!The brother hasn’t wasted his father’s resources!Why isn’t the father killing the calf for him and giving the scraps to his wayward brother?It offends our sense of fairness!

I wonder if we took a vote how many would approve of the father or condemn him in this story.I suspect the reason we’d condemn him is because we haven’t experienced this kind of failure personally.Many Unitarian Universalists have never been hungry, unclothed or homeless.I know I’ve managed to always have a roof over my head and some money in the bank.The only time I’ve been hungry has been by choice or by accident that was quite temporary.I’ve never experienced being in a strange land with no friends or resources and no way to get them.

Because many of us come from a middle class background, have received a good education, and been fortunate to secure stable employment most of our lives, we don’t think much about our potential need for refuge, or for that matter our dependence on others to support us.When things are going well, we just don’t think about it.And then the crisis comes.

A few years ago on a Thursday morning, I was just getting settled down to write my sermon when I started getting an intense pain in my groin.I tried to stand up but discovered I couldn’t put any weight on my right foot.My leg started to swell and the pain intensified.It was abundantly clear to me I was in serious trouble and I needed help. The pain was so intense I couldn’t lower my now elevated leg to the floor, so I couldn’t drive myself to the doctor’s office.I called Philomena at work and asked her to come home and take me to the hospital.I needed refuge from what turned out to be a lymph node infection.A ubiquitous strain of germs, usually a harmless dweller on the surface of my skin, had entered my body, probably through a scratch, and was now bent on taking over.

I remember my heightened awareness of my vulnerability both to dangerous microbes all around me and to my own ignorant actions.I had probably inflicted this suffering upon myself by my habit of scratching the dry skin on that leg rather than putting lotion on it. (I’m a much more careful scratcher now)It isn’t until the famine comes that we recognize we were putting ourselves in danger’s way.

Many in Florida are acutely aware of their vulnerability after suffering through four hurricanes.Insurance, savings and preparation can cushion the blow, but some of the losses, like the loss of beloved possessions or, worse, a loved one, can bring on a famine of the heart.In response, a sense of barrenness arises within, and with it the need for a refuge of the spirit.

There is a deeper, spiritual message to the Prodigal Son story.The harshest famine we may encounter may be an inner hunger for meaning in the face of devastation.One plate of food can satisfy the hunger of the stomach immediately.Our inner hunger may be harder to satisfy.We may need to turn to others for help.

Many self-reliant Unitarian Universalists would rather not turn to others for help.Have you heard this voice in your heads:I’d rather figure out how to satisfy that inner hunger myself.Well, let me be blunt: sometimes we can’t take care of our inner hunger by ourselves.And asking for help can be an opening to a great feast.

When I experienced this inner hunger in my life for meaning, I stumbled upon Buddhist meditation practice and fell in love with it almost immediately, almost as if I had it in my family heritage.Perhaps I did.As we sang earlier, being a lamp unto myself and being my own confidence made Buddhism very attractive to me.I didn’t have to believe anything or depend on any teacher or guru to do the meditation practice.The Buddha always told people not to take his teachings on faith but check them against their own experience.Like a scientific truth, the dhamma, the teachings, were self-evident and testable.

When I attended my first meditation retreat however, we started and ended the day by chanting three times:

Buddham saranam gacchami
Dhammam saranam gacchami
Samgham saranam gacchami

I take refuge in the Buddha.
I take refuge in the Dhamma, the teachings of the Buddha.
I take refuge in the Sangha, the community devoted to the Buddha’s teachings.

This bothered my independent, do-it-yourself mentality.I was going to get enlightened all by myself by my own efforts thank you.I didn’t need any supernatural help to achieve the goal.By my own will, I would vanquish any obstacles.

It only takes a couple of days of trying to sit still and calm the mind for the novice to be at the end of his or her rope.Suddenly, taking the refuges seriously started to matter.The knowledge that the Buddha and others did master this difficult practice, the instructions, the inspirational talks, and the example of others diligently sitting motionless around me, provided the missing energy and perseverance that I didn’t find within me.

During my second nine-day retreat, I finally tasted a little of the banquet awaiting the Prodigal Son’s return.In a moment when I despaired of ever being able to do the meditation practice my way, I really did take refuge in the Buddha, Dhamma, and Sangha.I sincerely turned over my will and relinquished my resistance to the present moment just as it was.In the Buddhist tradition, I had what is known as “the one taste.” It isn’t enlightenment.It isn’t being transported out of the body to meet with great Bodhisattvas of the ages.

It is, for a moment, experiencing directly what the practice points you toward.Like a baby taking his first steps after being guided forward again and again, the discovery created a deep and lasting change in my perception about the nature of existence and what is possible in human experience.

Taking refuge now had a new meaning for me.Before this retreat, I believed the practice would be beneficial because I had confidence based on the stories of the Buddha, his teachings and the people who I knew practiced meditation. Now I had my own source of confidence in the truth the practice pointed me toward derived from my own experience.Witnessing directly, stress, the origin of stress, the cessation of stress, and the method to develop cessation of stress, provided crucial validation of what before was just an intellectual proposition.

What surprised me about this experience was its effect on my heart, on my capacity for love and compassion.When the Prodigal Son returned to his father, his father’s heart filled with love: “for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' And they began to be merry.”

When we wake up to the many-layered depth of the reality of our interconnectedness, when we wake up to the vast resources of awareness accessible through our consciousness, the heart naturally opens wide in celebration.We are an expression of being that space and time cannot bind or limit.My experience of cessation of stress was not barrenness but rather fullness, peacefulness, and loving kindness.

The Prodigal Son’s brother was having none of this foolishness.He’d been following the rules.He’d been following his father’s instructions.He’d been paying his taxes and saving his money.He was the responsible and sensible brother--the kind any parent would want.And he felt jealous.Why shouldn’t he?What about natural consequences?The father in the story is violating the fairness rule of parenting.

The brother makes the near universal mistake of treating love like a scarce resource.'Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends.’I know I could be the brother in the story.I used to measure exactly how much my parents gave my sister for Christmas to make sure I wasn’t getting short changed.I notice if my father calls my sister more than he calls me or seems more intimate with her than with me.

The father explains: "Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.”His love is unbounded, undiminished for his loyal son.He isn’t going to re-divide his estate--all of it will go to the loyal son.But love must trump concerns about wealth.Love must conquer jealousy.

The brother doesn’t understand the father’s joy because he has always been secure with his father.He hasn’t needed to take refuge.He hasn’t known his father’s grief and loss, his sense of failure as a parent.The brother hasn’t discovered for himself that failure can reveal vast reservoirs of love.All he can see is the fatted calf he wants for himself and his friends.

So how do we let go of the calf and open our hearts to the loving kindness animating our being without hitting bottom or suffering grievous loss?That is the rub for us.Barbara Merritt, senior minister in Worchester, Massachusetts said during her Berry Street address this past June to the Unitarian Universalist Ministers Association:

Unitarian Universalists have historically been exceptionally gifted in articulating that aspect of the human experience that flows out of our inherent worth, strength, independence, and resourcefulness. But we have hardly begun to develop a vocabulary of dependence, where we can give full expression to our helplessness, our ignorance, and our spiritual poverty. Once we are able to speak about our need, we still have to be able to go to those places where we might find the protection, and the consolation, and the help that we require.

Admitting my helplessness, ignorance and spiritual poverty isn’t easy.Seeking protection, consolation and help violates my sense of autonomy.But admitting my helplessness, ignorance and spiritual poverty opens me to seeking the protection, consolation and help that can begin to heal me and connect me to that big love.

We live at a fortunate time in history when there is a great variety of protection, consolation and help for our spiritual poverty.Unitarian Universalism, so far, has taken a diverse approach embracing Christian, Buddhist, Jewish, Pagan, and humanistic ways to feed our spirits.Even though the words, concepts, music, rituals, and practices are very different, at their best, they all cultivate the same sense of interconnectedness and loving kindness.

I’ve found access to those energies best in Buddhist, Sufi and Humanist practices.Others in our congregation have found access through the Christian, Jewish and Pagan paths.The measure of the best practice for you is through the fruits you discover in your own experience.

Barbara Merritt continues:

I believe that every minister (and here I extend her remarks to all of us) needs to go to a place “spacious enough to hold up his or her life.”These journeys will be unique and particular… Yet even when you are given your own particular door, your own spiritual practice, the way ahead will probably not be easy to travel. It is not easy for me to sit down, to let go, to assume that grace will carry me. For too long, I have looked to my own efforts, my own small good works, my own competence. It is one thing to believe that there is an incomprehensible love at the center of the creation. It is quite another thing to confidently trust, to relax into, to lean on a strength and a grace beyond our understanding.

Failure is a powerful way to learn this trust, and it can also be invited through spiritual practice.I invite you this morning to allow your spiritual hunger to drive you to take refuge, to risk trusting, relaxing into and leaning on a strength and a grace beyond our understanding.THEN use your mind to assess what you have experienced and guide your next action.

My most fervent wish for you is that you stumble upon that incomprehensible love at the center of creation and discover it is already as close to you as your next breath.

Copyright ©2004 by Rev. Samuel A. Trumbore.All rights reserved.

Benediction

Living within the boundaries of birth and death,

we cannot know with explicit certainty what lies beyond them.
We can know and experience in this life an expansive love
that leaps beyond those boundaries
and suggests an implicit promise of transcendence.

May we be open to seeking refuge
To restore our spirits and energize our passion for action.
May we be open to seeking refuge
To expand our capacity for compassion and kindness
May we be open to seeking refuge
To liberate us from idolatry, selfish and false beliefs and
Continue to expand our appreciation for the
worth and dignity inherent in all life.