And
not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to
a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living.But
when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he
began to be in want.
Then
he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him
into his fields to feed swine.And
he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate,
and no one gave him anything.But
when he came to himself, he said, 'How many of my father's hired servants
have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise
and go to my father, and will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against
heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son.
Make me like one of your hired servants." '
And
he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off,
his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and
kissed him. And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven
and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.'
But
the father said to his servants, 'Bring out the best robe and put it on
him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the
fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my
son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' And they began
to be merry.
Now
his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house,
he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked
what these things meant. And he said to him, 'Your brother has come, and
because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the
fatted calf.'But he was angry and
would not go in.
Therefore
his father came out and pleaded with him. So he answered and said to his
father, 'Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed
your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that
I might make merry with my friends. But as soon as this son of yours came,
who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf
for him.'
Then
the father said to him, "Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine
is yours.But we had to celebrate
and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life;
he was lost and has been found.'
This
story chaffs against the Puritan spirit of independence and self-reliance
often found among us.I suspect many
of us would identify with that hard working, obedient brother.A
fine upstanding member of the community he is!The
brother hasn’t wasted his father’s resources!Why
isn’t the father killing the calf for him and giving the scraps to his
wayward brother?It offends our sense
of fairness!
I
wonder if we took a vote how many would approve of the father or condemn
him in this story.I suspect the
reason we’d condemn him is because we haven’t experienced this kind of
failure personally.Many Unitarian
Universalists have never been hungry, unclothed or homeless.I
know I’ve managed to always have a roof over my head and some money in
the bank.The only time I’ve been
hungry has been by choice or by accident that was quite temporary.I’ve
never experienced being in a strange land with no friends or resources
and no way to get them.
Because
many of us come from a middle class background, have received a good education,
and been fortunate to secure stable employment most of our lives, we don’t
think much about our potential need for refuge, or for that matter our
dependence on others to support us.When
things are going well, we just don’t think about it.And
then the crisis comes.
A
few years ago on a Thursday morning, I was just getting settled down to
write my sermon when I started getting an intense pain in my groin.I
tried to stand up but discovered I couldn’t put any weight on my right
foot.My leg started to swell and
the pain intensified.It was abundantly
clear to me I was in serious trouble and I needed help. The pain was so
intense I couldn’t lower my now elevated leg to the floor, so I couldn’t
drive myself to the doctor’s office.I
called Philomena at work and asked her to come home and take me to the
hospital.I needed refuge from what
turned out to be a lymph node infection.A
ubiquitous strain of germs, usually a harmless dweller on the surface of
my skin, had entered my body, probably through a scratch, and was now bent
on taking over.
I
remember my heightened awareness of my vulnerability both to dangerous
microbes all around me and to my own ignorant actions.I
had probably inflicted this suffering upon myself by my habit of scratching
the dry skin on that leg rather than putting lotion on it. (I’m a much
more careful scratcher now)It isn’t
until the famine comes that we recognize we were putting ourselves in danger’s
way.
Many
in Florida are acutely aware of their vulnerability after suffering through
four hurricanes.Insurance, savings
and preparation can cushion the blow, but some of the losses, like the
loss of beloved possessions or, worse, a loved one, can bring on a famine
of the heart.In response, a sense
of barrenness arises within, and with it the need for a refuge of the spirit.
There
is a deeper, spiritual message to the Prodigal Son story.The
harshest famine we may encounter may be an inner hunger for meaning in
the face of devastation.One plate
of food can satisfy the hunger of the stomach immediately.Our
inner hunger may be harder to satisfy.We
may need to turn to others for help.
Many
self-reliant Unitarian Universalists would rather not turn to others for
help.Have you heard this voice in
your heads:I’d rather figure out
how to satisfy that inner hunger myself.Well,
let me be blunt: sometimes we can’t take care of our inner hunger by ourselves.And
asking for help can be an opening to a great feast.
When
I experienced this inner hunger in my life for meaning, I stumbled upon
Buddhist meditation practice and fell in love with it almost immediately,
almost as if I had it in my family heritage.Perhaps
I did.As we sang earlier, being
a lamp unto myself and being my own confidence made Buddhism very attractive
to me.I didn’t have to believe anything
or depend on any teacher or guru to do the meditation practice.The
Buddha always told people not to take his teachings on faith but check
them against their own experience.Like
a scientific truth, the dhamma, the teachings, were self-evident and testable.
When
I attended my first meditation retreat however, we started and ended the
day by chanting three times:
Buddham
saranam gacchami
Dhammam saranam gacchami
Samgham saranam gacchami
I
take refuge in the Buddha.
I take refuge in the Dhamma, the teachings of the Buddha.
I take refuge in the Sangha, the community devoted to the Buddha’s
teachings.
This
bothered my independent, do-it-yourself mentality.I
was going to get enlightened all by myself by my own efforts thank you.I
didn’t need any supernatural help to achieve the goal.By
my own will, I would vanquish any obstacles.
It
only takes a couple of days of trying to sit still and calm the mind for
the novice to be at the end of his or her rope.Suddenly,
taking the refuges seriously started to matter.The
knowledge that the Buddha and others did master this difficult practice,
the instructions, the inspirational talks, and the example of others diligently
sitting motionless around me, provided the missing energy and perseverance
that I didn’t find within me.
During
my second nine-day retreat, I finally tasted a little of the banquet awaiting
the Prodigal Son’s return.In a moment
when I despaired of ever being able to do the meditation practice my way,
I really did take refuge in the Buddha, Dhamma, and Sangha.I
sincerely turned over my will and relinquished my resistance to the present
moment just as it was.In the Buddhist
tradition, I had what is known as “the one taste.” It isn’t enlightenment.It
isn’t being transported out of the body to meet with great Bodhisattvas
of the ages.
It
is, for a moment, experiencing directly what the practice points you toward.Like
a baby taking his first steps after being guided forward again and again,
the discovery created a deep and lasting change in my perception about
the nature of existence and what is possible in human experience.
Taking
refuge now had a new meaning for me.Before
this retreat, I believed the practice would be beneficial because I had
confidence based on the stories of the Buddha, his teachings and the people
who I knew practiced meditation. Now
I had my own source of confidence in the truth the practice pointed me
toward derived from my own experience.Witnessing
directly, stress, the origin of stress, the cessation of stress, and the
method to develop cessation of stress, provided crucial validation of what
before was just an intellectual proposition.
What
surprised me about this experience was its effect on my heart, on my capacity
for love and compassion.When the
Prodigal Son returned to his father, his father’s heart filled with love:
“for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.'
And they began to be merry.”
When
we wake up to the many-layered depth of the reality of our interconnectedness,
when we wake up to the vast resources of awareness accessible through our
consciousness, the heart naturally opens wide in celebration.We
are an expression of being that space and time cannot bind or limit.My
experience of cessation of stress was not barrenness but rather fullness,
peacefulness, and loving kindness.
The
Prodigal Son’s brother was having none of this foolishness.He’d
been following the rules.He’d been
following his father’s instructions.He’d
been paying his taxes and saving his money.He
was the responsible and sensible brother--the kind any parent would want.And
he felt jealous.Why shouldn’t he?What
about natural consequences?The father
in the story is violating the fairness rule of parenting.
The
brother makes the near universal mistake of treating love like a scarce
resource.'Lo, these many years I
have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time;
and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my
friends.’I know I could be the
brother in the story.I used to measure
exactly how much my parents gave my sister for Christmas to make sure I
wasn’t getting short changed.I notice
if my father calls my sister more than he calls me or seems more intimate
with her than with me.
The
father explains: "Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is
yours.”His love is unbounded, undiminished
for his loyal son.He isn’t going
to re-divide his estate--all of it will go to the loyal son.But
love must trump concerns about wealth.Love
must conquer jealousy.
The
brother doesn’t understand the father’s joy because he has always been
secure with his father.He hasn’t
needed to take refuge.He hasn’t
known his father’s grief and loss, his sense of failure as a parent.The
brother hasn’t discovered for himself that failure can reveal vast reservoirs
of love.All he can see is the fatted
calf he wants for himself and his friends.
So
how do we let go of the calf and open our hearts to the loving kindness
animating our being without hitting bottom or suffering grievous loss?That
is the rub for us.Barbara Merritt,
senior minister in Worchester, Massachusetts said during her Berry Street
address this past June to the Unitarian Universalist Ministers Association:
Unitarian
Universalists have historically been exceptionally gifted in articulating
that aspect of the human experience that flows out of our inherent worth,
strength, independence, and resourcefulness. But we have hardly begun to
develop a vocabulary of dependence, where we can give full expression to
our helplessness, our ignorance, and our spiritual poverty. Once we are
able to speak about our need, we still have to be able to go to those places
where we might find the protection, and the consolation, and the help that
we require.
Admitting
my helplessness, ignorance and spiritual poverty isn’t easy.Seeking
protection, consolation and help violates my sense of autonomy.But
admitting my helplessness, ignorance and spiritual poverty opens me to
seeking the protection, consolation and help that can begin to heal me
and connect me to that big love.
We
live at a fortunate time in history when there is a great variety of protection,
consolation and help for our spiritual poverty.Unitarian
Universalism, so far, has taken a diverse approach embracing Christian,
Buddhist, Jewish, Pagan, and humanistic ways to feed our spirits.Even
though the words, concepts, music, rituals, and practices are very different,
at their best, they all cultivate the same sense of interconnectedness
and loving kindness.
I’ve
found access to those energies best in Buddhist, Sufi and Humanist practices.Others
in our congregation have found access through the Christian, Jewish and
Pagan paths.The measure of the best
practice for you is through the fruits you discover in your own experience.
Barbara
Merritt continues:
I
believe that every minister (and here I extend her remarks to all of us)
needs to go to a place “spacious enough to hold up his or her life.”These
journeys will be unique and particular… Yet even when you are given your
own particular door, your own spiritual practice, the way ahead will probably
not be easy to travel. It is not easy for me to sit down, to let go, to
assume that grace will carry me. For too long, I have looked to my own
efforts, my own small good works, my own competence. It is one thing to
believe that there is an incomprehensible love at the center of the creation.
It is quite another thing to confidently trust, to relax into, to lean
on a strength and a grace beyond our understanding.
Failure
is a powerful way to learn this trust, and it can also be invited through
spiritual practice.I invite you
this morning to allow your spiritual hunger to drive you to take refuge,
to risk trusting, relaxing into and leaning on a strength and a grace beyond
our understanding.THEN use your
mind to assess what you have experienced and guide your next action.
My
most fervent wish for you is that you stumble upon that incomprehensible
love at the center of creation and discover it is already as close to you
as your next breath.
Copyright
©2004 by Rev. Samuel A. Trumbore.All
rights reserved.
May
we be open to seeking refuge
To restore our spirits and energize
our passion for action.
May we be open to seeking refuge
To expand our capacity for compassion
and kindness
May we be open to seeking refuge
To liberate us from idolatry,
selfish and false beliefs and
Continue to expand our appreciation
for the
worth
and dignity inherent in all life.