A Place Where Everyone Knows Your Name by Rev. Samuel A. Trumbore

First Unitarian Universalist Society of Albany
"A Place Where Everyone Knows Your Name"
Rev. Samuel A. Trumbore September 30, 2001

SPOKEN MEDITATION

REST IN PEACE
by Vietnamese Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh

I am a World Trade Center tower, standing tall in the clear blue sky,
feeling a violent blow in my side, and
I am a towering inferno of pain and suffering imploding upon myself and
collapsing to the ground.
May I rest in peace.

am a terrified passenger on a hijacked airplane not knowing where we
are going or that I am riding on fuel tanks that will be instruments of death, and
I am a worker arriving at my office not knowing that in just a moment my future will be obliterated.
May I rest in peace. I am a pigeon in the plaza between the two towers eating crumbs from
someone's breakfast when fire rains down on me from the skies, and
I am a bed of flowers admired daily by thousands of tourists now buried under five stories of rubble.
May I rest in peace.

I am a firefighter sent into dark corridors of smoke and debris on a
mission of mercy only to have it collapse around me, and
I am a rescue worker risking my life to save lives
who is very aware that I may not make it out alive.
May I rest in peace.

I am a survivor who has fled down the stairs and out of the building to
safety who knows that nothing will ever be the same in my soul again, and
I am a doctor in a hospital treating patients burned from head to toe
who knows that these horrible images will remain in my mind forever.
May I know peace.

I am a tourist in Times Square looking up at the giant TV screens
thinking I'm seeing a disaster movie as I watch the Twin Towers crash to the ground, and
I am a New York woman sending e-mails to friends and family letting them know that I am safe.
May I know peace.

I am a piece of paper that was on someone's desk this morning and now
I'm debris scattered by the wind across lower Manhattan, and
I am a stone in the graveyard at Trinity Church covered with soot from
the buildings that once stood proudly above me, death meeting death.
May I rest in peace.

I am a dog sniffing in the rubble for signs of life, doing my best to be of service, and
I am a blood donor waiting in line to make a simple but very needed contribution for the victims.
May I know peace.

I am a resident in an apartment in downtown New York who has been forced
to evacuate my home, and
I am a resident in an apartment uptown who has walked 100 blocks home in
a stream of other refugees.
May I know peace.

I am a family member who has just learned that someone I love has died, and
I am a pastor who must comfort someone who has suffered a heartbreaking loss.
May I know peace.

I am a loyal American who feels violated and vows to stand behind any
military action it takes to wipe terrorists off the face of the earth, and
I am a loyal American who feels violated and worries that people who
look and sound like me are all going to be blamed for this tragedy.
May I know peace.

I am a frightened city dweller who wonders whether I'll ever feel safe in a skyscraper again, and
I am a pilot who wonders whether there will ever be a way to make the skies truly safe.
May I know peace.

I am the owner of a small store with five employees that has been put
out of business by this tragedy, and
I am an executive in a multinational corporation who is concerned about
the cost of doing business in a terrorized world.
May I know peace.

I am a visitor to New York City who purchases postcards of the World
Trade Center Twin Towers that are no more, and
I am a television reporter trying to put into words the terrible things
I have seen.
May I know peace.

I am a boy in New Jersey waiting for a father who will never come home, and
I am a boy in a faraway country rejoicing in the streets of my village
because someone has hurt the hated Americans.
May I know peace.

I am a general talking into the microphone/s about how we must stop
the terrorist cowards who have perpetrated this heinous crime, and
I am an intelligence officer trying to discern how such a thing could
have happened on American soil, and
I am a city official trying to find ways to alleviate the suffering of my people.
May I know peace.

I am a terrorist whose hatred for America knows no limit and I am willing to die to prove it, and
I am a terrorist sympathizer standing with all the enemies of American capitalism and imperialism, and
I am a master strategist for a terrorist group who planned this abomination.
My heart is not yet capable of openness, tolerance, and loving.
May I know peace.

I am a citizen of the world glued to my television set, fighting back my
rage and despair at these horrible events, and
I am a person of faith struggling to forgive the unforgivable, praying
for the consolation of those who have lost loved ones, calling upon the
Merciful beneficence of God/Yahweh/Allah/Spirit/Higher Power.
May I know peace.

I am a child of God who believes that we are all children of God and we
are all part of each other.
May we all know peace

READINGS

From an essay called: A Call for the Unexpected by John Paul Lederach

Let me conclude with simple ideas. To face the reality of well organized, decentralized, self-perpetuating sources of terror, we need to think differently about the challenges. If, indeed, this is a new war, it will not be won with a traditional military plan. The key does not lie in finding and destroying territories, camps, and certainly not the civilian populations that supposedly house them. Paradoxically that will only feed the phenomenon and assure that it lives into a new generation. The key is to think about how a small virus in a system affects the whole and how to improve the immunity of the system. We should take extreme care not to provide the movements we deplore with gratuitous fuel for self-regeneration. Let us not fulfill their prophecy by providing them with martyrs and justifications. The power of their action is the simplicity with which they pursue the fight with global power. They have understood the power of the powerless.

They have understood that melding and meshing with the enemy creates a base from within. They have not faced down the enemy with a bigger stick. They did the more powerful thing: They changed the game. They entered our lives, our homes and turned our own tools into our demise.

We will not win this struggle for justice, peace and human dignity with the traditional weapons of war. We need to change the game again. Let us take up the practical challenges of this reality perhaps best described in the Cure of Troy an epic poem by Seamus Heaney, [an Irish poet] no foreigner to grip of the cycles of terror. Let us give birth to the unexpected.

So hope for a great sea-change
On the far side of revenge.
Believe that a farther shore
Is reachable from here.
Believe in miracles
And cures and healing wells.

From: 9/25 Newsletter Column of the Rev. Barbara Merritt, minister of the Unitarian Church in Worchester, Massachusetts (edited):

…We, the American people, have woken up to a world where we have real enemies, who not only intend to do us great harm, but who did so September 11th. They have vowed that they will do it again.

In a certain sense, you're not paying attention (you're not even lucid), if you aren't afraid of this threat. On the other hand, fear can cripple us, paralyze us, and weaken us worse than any terrorist attack.

Fear is an adaptive, biological response to threat. "Flight" is sometimes the very best instinct when it comes to real danger. Many more people would have been killed in New York, if they had not run away from the World Trade Towers.

But you can't run away from your home; your city: your country. The fact is we are vulnerable when we fly, and when we trust that our air, water, and food have not been poisoned. We do have a disciplined and wealthy enemy who has promised that they will do everything they can to hurt us. So what is the appropriate response? What is a normal response? What is a spiritually healing response?

In the last few weeks, I've been troubled by a number of distressing reactions that I believe are ultimately ineffectual or self-destructive. … May I suggest a few other ways to live with the uncertainty and perceived danger in the immediate future? Of course, each of us will need to find our own way to breathe deeply. We need to inhabit the vulnerability of our lives (even before September 11th). But if you're feeling a little shaky, like most of the U.S. population, consider taking the following steps:

The Nature Cure: As the poet Wendell Berry wrote, "When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be, I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things…for a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free."
The Service Cure: Do whatever you can to make the world a more hospitable and welcoming place. The opportunities for service are everywhere and all the time. Express your gratitude to others. Do what you can do to repair the relationships in your life. Use your gifts to repair a broken world.
The Celebration/Community Cure: Go out to dinner with friends. Come to Church. Attend weddings and go on picnics and gather at family reunions. Fear cannot coexist with laughter and meaningful engagement with others, and the joy that arises from good company.

People who are courageous are not people who have felt no fear. They are simply willing to live fully in the circumstances where they find themselves. In these difficult times, may you find the source of your own courage and strength.

©The Rev. Dr. Barbara Merritt, 2001

SERMON

Some of you may have seen the story circulating on email of a pilot's preflight announcement of how to handle a highjacking attempt. The announcement began stating that once the doors to the plane were closed the passengers only had each other. The pilot pointed out that there would be 200 non-highjackers on the plane so the non-highjackers had a decided advantage. The pilot also suggested that the passengers weren't helpless in the event of a highjacking. By throwing objects at their heads and smothering them in pillows and blankets, a knife wielding highjacker can likely be subdued quickly. The pilot's call to collective action suggested, in microcosm, the strength our unity can have against terrorism. He concluded his announcement, "I find it interesting that the US Constitution begins with the words 'We, the people' --that's who we are, THE people and we will not be defeated."

The email continues:

With that, the passengers on the plane all began to applaud, people had tears in their eyes, and we began the trip toward the runway. The flight attendant then began the safety speech. One of the things she said is that we are all so busy and live our lives at such a fast pace. She asked that everyone turn to their neighbors on either side and introduce themselves, tell each other something about your families and children, show pictures, whatever. She said "for today, we consider you family. We will treat you as such and ask that you do the same with us."

Horrible as disasters are, they have a tremendous unifying factor. The unanimity in Congress behind the President, the suddenly restored faith in our federal government, the shock of seeing Guiliani and Pataki saying nice things about each other, who could have believed this would happen a day after September 10^th? A clear and immediate threat herds people together like sheep as the wolf circles unseen in the darkness.

Times like these intensify the human need to be part of a community. Attendance at church services on Sunday is up all over the country. September 16^th was standing room only here until the children left for their classes. We had a record number of kids that day. We're seeing this phenomenon in Unitarian Universalist congregations across the nation. I don't know whether the influx of people will last. I do know something of what people are looking for and that will be my topic this morning.

"We the people," our Constitution may begin, but "me the person" is much of what it lays out, particularly in the Bill of Rights. America enshrines individual liberty first and foremost. The decline of mainline churches and civic associations, participation in political parties and bowling leagues has been signaling a decline in public life. Whether television or computer, we are spending more and more time by ourselves in front of a screen and less time interacting with other people face to face.

So when people come in our doors for the first time, they are generally not looking for something they can take care of by themselves. Newcomers don't just want to sit and listen to inspiring words on Sunday morning. They are wanting to speak about their own questions and inspirations … and be heard by others too. In a world that is constantly trying to control us and shape our decisions to favor its activities, products and agendas, people are recognizing their need to have their fears and joys, their hopes and dreams heard too.

This need was clearly recognized in large churches with thousands attending worship on Sunday morning. These mega-churches were doing a great job inspiring people on Sunday morning but failed to provide the breadth of professional ministerial services their members wanted for individual attention. In seeking to solve this problem, they reflected on the roots of the Christian tradition. The strength of the early church lay in the small communities that met, worshiped, broke bread together and ministered to each other. Contemporary leaders recognized people's need for that same kind of small group fellowship in which to reflect on, practice and grow their faith. They divided up their congregations into cells of 6 - 12 people asking them to meet regularly, worship together, study scripture, and share their doubts and their faith.

The mega-churches have been using this idea of small group ministry for the last fifteen years or so with great success. This success caught the attention of some Unitarian Universalist ministers who studied the models and decided to see if these small groups might work in our congregations. One of the first congregations to try this two years ago was the UU Community Church of Augusta, Maine.

Encouraged by their District Executive, the Rev. Glenn Turner, the congregation spent six months or so exploring different models of small group ministry. Their minister, the Rev. Calvin Dame, was initially quite skeptical. Why would people want to meet twice a month when they were having trouble finding people to serve on committees? Will this be another in a long line of programs that starts with excitement and dies a couple of months later after people lose enthusiasm for it? Should I get my hopes up?

Turner caught the spirit of the times telling Rev. Dame and his leaders, "People come to our congregations seeking intimacy and spiritual growth. We give them committee meetings and Sunday morning worship. Neither of those adequately meets those needs."

His words resonate for me and my lifelong experience of being a Unitarian Universalist. I enjoy singing hymns and hearing sermons. I like serving on committees and getting things done that benefit the community. And sermons and committees don't fully satisfy my needs for intimacy and spiritual growth, needs I've satisfied in small groups. In fact, my sense of calling to Unitarian Universalist ministry partly comes from my desire to create greater opportunities for intimacy and spiritual growth in our congregations.

Reflecting on this need, Rev Dame said,

"…the promise of Small Group Ministry which was most attractive to people [in my church] was the possibility, in this frenetic culture in which we live, to set aside time to really engage with some trusted friends around questions of real substance and depth, to explore what worship really means, to reflect on our hopes, consider what forgiveness might demand, to share poems that have moved us, to consider the power of theological words such as sin and grace, to share fears or moments of triumph, to examine what a life of faith might mean or to chart our spiritual trail."

In March of 1999, forty people signed up to try Small Group Ministry in Augusta and the church started with five groups. Over the summer two more groups were formed. By Christmas, they had ten groups. The groups were an immediate success. People felt a strong commitment to their group and they attended regularly. It didn't take long before they realized that something more was happening in these groups than what might happen in a book club or a discussion group.

Hear Rev. Dame's explanation of that "something more":

Small Group Ministry is not an adult education course. It is not another kind of worship experience. It is not a committee structure. In its most radical reality, it is a theological statement: that everyone is called to ministry, that the work of the church is the work of ministry for everyone, not just the professional. And [that] ministry is connection, comfort, caring, spiritual exploration and service. All of those.

Even though I didn't have the language for it at the time, Small Group Ministry helped shape my decision to become a minister. In the early 80's in Marin County, California, I participated in a dream analysis group of about eight people led by the Rev. Jeremy Taylor. We would begin holding hands and doing a group breathing exercise to bring us together. Each of us would check-in, talking about what was going on in our lives then share a dream from the past week. One dream would be selected by the group to work on. Each of us would share our insights into the dream's symbols using different techniques of analysis and relying on our intuition for guidance. Dreamwork can be intensely emotional as the symbols in our dreams are packed with meaning - and not just for the dreamer whose dream is being analyzed. The meaning found through working on one person's dream can trigger insights for the other group members into their dreams and their own lives.

Driving home after one particularly good session, having watched one of the group members gain new self-understanding, insight and resolve, my emotions were elevated. It was a stressful time for me because the company I was working for was failing and I was debating whether to accept a job offer from another company out of the San Francisco Bay Area. I remember directing my feelings into singing a joyful song to myself as I drove home. On one of those interchange ramps between freeways that soars high in the air, looking down at the lights of the city of Berkeley, I felt a strong sense of calling. Rather than take a job in Santa Rosa, great as the job promised to be, I felt certain that the next step in my life should be to go to seminary. In the satisfaction I felt participating in a small dream group, I recognized my call to a life of ministry. I wanted to provide opportunities for others to experience the kind of spiritual growth I'd seen happening in others and myself as we shared our inner lives. In Small Group Ministry today, I see one fulfillment of that calling I felt over 17 years ago.

What might the benefits of Small Group Ministry be? Here are some of the benefits Rev. Dame lists in his church:

Sunday morning attendance is up.
Membership numbers are up.
Pledging has increased.
Lapsed members are returning saying, "This is what I was looking for and didn't find here before."
Friendships and connections have grown between members who smile at each other in coffee hour but haven't spoken.
A culture of respectful listening and deep concern fostered in the small groups is leaking out and creating more harmony in other areas of church life.
The laity feels meaningfully empowered to participate in the ministry of the church and has strengthened the overall ministry of the church.

My own experience and reports like these have me pretty excited but that isn't why I'm recommending we start this program in our congregation. I too have seen lots of denominational cheerleading for the latest program. Someone is always cooking up some new way to increase participation and membership and most of them fail.

What got my attention was the enthusiasm our members brought back who attended a training workshop by Rev. Turner held two weeks ago in Schenectady and paid for by the New York State Universalist endowment. The first two people I talked with afterwards had a certain determined look in their eye. From just one small group experience at the training , they knew it satisfied an unrealized desire that our own congregation wasn't meeting.

Many of us want to know each other at a deeper, less superficial level. This congregation is full of amazing people. Those of you who have been to some of the memorial services I've done so far this year may relate to this: the experience of hearing so much you didn't know about one of our departed members, even though you may have been members together for many years. We just don't make the opportunity during coffee hour to share our dreams and struggles, our wisdom and pain. Small Group Ministry creates a setting where this kind of exchange can happen, an exchange that reveals the treasure we are to and for each other.

I think we need this kind of caring exchange with each other because it is a necessary part of knowing ourselves. We just can't fully know ourselves without the active listening and reflection of others. Sartre, the existentialist philosopher, believed that we cannot even have a sense of personal identity without receiving other's responses to us. According to his philosophy, I choose to create an identity out of three areas, the facts of my current existence, the possibilities I attach myself to, and the impressions others project upon me. High above San Francisco's East Bay, I attached myself to the possibility of becoming a minister. I was not a minister then, I was an electrical engineer. I only became a minister through the reflection of my desire by hundreds of Unitarian Universalists. That reflection came from the admissions committee at Starr King, my teachers and classmates, from the members of my internship church in Rochester, New York, from the UUA's Ministerial Fellowship Committee who credential ministers and from the members of this congregation who voted to call me as their minister. I'm deeply aware of how I accept the mantle of ministry as an identity conferred not self-created. There is a dynamic tension between what we are, what we choose to be and how others see us. The tension can become creative and transforming in the Small Group Ministry setting.

So this morning I encourage you to consider participating in Small Group Ministry. You'll find a signup sheet for it in your order of service this morning on the back of the child dedication sheet. There will be a basket to collect them as you leave or you can turn them in to the office.

Small Group Ministry will not solve all the problems of our congregation or the world but it promises to be an excellent way for our members to meet their intimacy and spiritual growth needs as our congregation grows larger. We are too big to all know each other's names. In small groups we can. We can be big and small at the same time and create an even more satisfying religious community. We have what it takes because we are it.