First Unitarian Universalist Society of Albany
"It Takes a Congregation"
Rev. Samuel A. Trumbore February 4, 2001

The Prophet Muhammad said:

What actions are most excellent?
To gladden the heart of a human being.
To feed the hungry.
To help the afflicted.
To lighten the sorrow of the sorrowful.
To remove the wrongs of the injured.
That person is the most beloved of Allah
who does the most good to Allah's creatures.

The Prophet Micah said:

What does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God.

The Prophet Jesus said:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the realm of heaven.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they shall be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called the children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake,
for theirs is the realm of heaven.

Who are we to disagree?
What changes if we agree?
Who do we become if we internalize the message?

A young minister fresh from seminary was called to serve a venerable old New England congregation. Having attended more recently organized UU congregations, he was surprised by their elaborate coffee hour ritual. After the service, finely dressed older women wearing beautifully embroidered aprons served coffee in china cups. These women would carefully pour the coffee in each cup, place it on a delicate saucer and gently distribute each one with a friendly smile. The young minister marveled at this unusual, elegant tradition of grace and civility. He found out from the women's auxiliary, serving coffee in this way was considered a special honor.

At the young minister's first Board of Trustees meeting, a fierce argument broke out about whether a new member could serve coffee from the 200 hundred year old silver urn or not. This job was usually done by the senior members of the women's auxiliary. Some of the newer members argued this misrepresented the real tradition which was more flexible and inclusive. The older members argued it was a long and sacred inviolable tradition of hospitality since the time of William Ellery Channing. Distressed by the strong emotion involved in the argument, the young minister decided to visit the recently retired former minister who had been the minister for many years.

After being greeted and ushered into the retired minister's library full of old books and antique furniture, he asked him about the history of the tradition that only the most senior members were allowed to serve coffee. Minister laughed and said, "No that's not the tradition." Confused, the young minister then asked, "Well does that mean new members can serve coffee then?" The retired minister thought for a moment and responded, "No, that's not the tradition either." Distressed, the young minister complained, "Well then who does because we can't get enough people to sign up to do it." The retired minister smiled confidently, "Now THAT is our tradition."

Normally filling committee slots and encouraging people to take leadership positions is a never-ending struggle in most congregations. Getting people to be ushers, service leaders, and preparing coffee is often a problem about this time of year. Thankfully these jobs are limited and proscribed. We can say exactly how long they take and give people a simple set of instructions to follow. The excellent materials and lesson plans at the teacher's disposal simplify teaching one of our religious education classes. And, as with many of the opportunities for service here, few of them are organized to be done alone. Building community is always part of getting the job done. After all, it takes a whole congregation to make this community great.

My sermon title is a take off on the often-quoted expression that became very popular in the last decade, it takes a village to raise a child. No place is that more true in our modern society than our religious institutions. It takes hundreds of people and volunteer hours to put together as strong and vital a religious community as this one. Our sense of village provides a warm and nurturing environment for our children to grow, build their character and find access to their inner life and faith.

The part of our village I'd like to focus on this morning is our caring network. Our caring network offers emergency assistance to the members of our congregation who are older, sick or in need of assistance. Mary Ellen Deighan has done an admirable job of coordinating it for the last three years. As she explained, the caring network of volunteers send cards and make calls to check up on people after a health crisis. Some volunteer to drive people to medical appointments and take them home from the hospital. Others offer to visit people in their homes, nursing homes or in the hospital. Another wonderful service people offer is to bring food in a crisis.

Our ability to offer these services to our members ebb and flow over the years with the needs and volunteers availability. We've rallied around some of our beloved members in their final hours like Eleanor Heron in the past and most recently Alice Philips and Vic Walker.

I spent some time talking to participants in our caring network this past week looking for some heroic stories to tell. All of them were very modest about what they've done. Many have offered food or a ride or sent a card or made a call. These occasional offers of support may seem like a small effort, but to the person who receives it, the help feels like a big lifting of their spirits. Reading an encouraging card or hearing a friendly voice can brighten the lonely watch as one's body heals and recovers its strength.

Martha Schroeder suggested I tell people today not to be afraid to call and ask specific questions. I know it is a common feeling among us to respect each other's privacy. My mother taught me not to be nosy and keep out of other people's business. Martha told me she's found that when a person is down and out, he or she wants people to pry, especially the ones from their congregation.

Being cautious about what may feel like meddling in other people's affairs has been at times a challenge for me. You see, these social rules do not apply to ministers. Almost the opposite. People expect me to call and find out what is going on and ask how we can help. I take inspiration from my Irish Catholic mother-in-law who's always ready to jump into any situation where her meddling might make a difference.

"That's fine for you," I can imagine some people saying in their minds, "you're trained to handle these situations." What will I say or do? Martha Schroeder has some helpful advice. She told me, when she doesn't know the words to say, she just says so. She knows that her presence and her expression of concern, care and help will be appreciated whether she has the right words or not. 90% of being helpful is just showing up.

The rewards far outweigh the occasional sense of discomfort. Nancy Bell, long time caring network volunteer and recent recipient of assistance after her third major back surgery, appreciates the opportunity to get to know people. If you've attended memorial services here, you'll know the stature of the kind of person who we attract into our membership. A common experience people have after hearing about the wonders, hardship and courage in the life of the person being remembered, is a feeling a sense of regret not having gotten to know him or her better. Well now is the time while they are still alive to make the connection.

Which reminds me of a story:

There once was a little boy who wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with cupcakes, several cans of root beer and started on his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he saw an elderly woman. She was sitting on a park bench watching the pigeons. The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed the lady looked hungry so he offered her a cupcake.

She gratefully accepted and smiled at him. Her smile was so wonderful that he wanted to see it again, so he offered a root beer as well. Once again she smiled at him. The boy was delighted!

They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling without saying a word.

As it began to grow dark, the boy realized how tired he was and wanted to go home. He got up to leave but before he had gone no more than a few steps, he turned around and ran back to the old woman, giving her a big hug.

She gave him her biggest smile ever.

When the boy arrived home his Mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked, "What has made you so happy today?"

He replied, "I had lunch with God."

Before his mother could respond he added, "You know what?" She's got the most beautiful smile in the whole world!"

Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home. Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face. He asked, "Mother, what has made you so happy today?" She replied, "I ate cupcakes in the park with God."

And before her son could reply, she added, "You know, he is much younger than I expected."

I wish finding and connecting with the divine spirit in another person was as easy as sharing a root beer and a cupcake for most of us. Too often we meet each other superficially on Sunday morning or at a social function. There is of course nothing wrong with this. It would be impossible to sustain a close and intimate relationship with everyone in this congregation. Making personal contact through a visit or call creates the opportunity for a relationship to develop and deepen.

One of the fears that block people from getting involved is the fear of being overwhelmed by another's needs. We have more older members than we did fifteen or twenty years ago. And I know with two income families and busy schedules for children, it’s a challenge finding any time to help out. Few of us want to add to our guilt burden by being asked to help and having to say "No."

And there is another side to this coin. No matter how healthy and vital we may feel today, in a minute that can change. I've been in conversation with Melanie McCully, a visitor this fall to our congregation who recently was in a major auto accident in Delmar. She is lucky to be alive and extremely grateful her four year old daughter was unharmed. Today she is facing months of recovery, unable to get out of bed without help. A shiver went through my spine as I spoke with her thinking about how I would cope with such a disaster. I fervently hope we can step up and help her family put their life back together.

Last Sunday night, while many were watching the Superbowl and seeing our New Jersey Giants getting creamed, I joined the Welcoming Congregation Committee along with twenty some others, for pizza and a movie titled, "Love! Valor! Compassion!" The movie follows of group of gay men who gather in a beautiful house by a lake on holiday weekends over one summer in upstate New York. One of them named James is living with AIDS and becomes intimate with one of the other characters named Buzz played by Jason Alexander. In a scene toward the end of the movie, Buzz is distressed and angry as he sees his friend James slipping away. Under Buzz's anger is fear. In a close up of him and another character named Perry, Buzz asks, will you be there to hold my hand when I die? Perry pauses, smiles and says, "Yes, I will. We all will."

I think all of us want to be part of a community of friends and family that will rally around us if we are in need. We did this for John Cross as he was dying of AIDS in the late 80's. Members of the congregation delivered meals to him three times a day. Many stopped in, sat and talked with him.

The one person I've had significant contact with during my ministry here has been Carrie Burchardt Pharr. Carrie is a woman with teenage children who is living with serious, incurable brain cancer. You may remember her speaking at the cancer support group service last spring. I think she has been an inspiration to all of us. As our visits have unfolded, I know I've gotten as much back as I've given to her. She is teaching me how to be a better minister. By diagnosis, she should be dead by now. I don't doubt all the emotional support we've given has added greatly to her quality of life these last few months. I invited her to write something for this service and here is what she wrote:

As I talked to the members of the caring network this week, I gained a sense of the satisfaction they have gotten from helping and being helped. George Eliot wrote, " It is only a poor sort of happiness that could ever come by caring very much about our own pleasures. We can only have the highest happiness such as goes along with being a great man, by having wide thoughts and much feeling for the rest of the world as well as ourselves."

For many of us, it is not until we are in need that we realize that there are invisible arms holding us up. Just as there is a special kind of happiness that comes through caring, there is a special kind of appreciation that is felt when many people express their care and support. Herman Melville wrote: "We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results." We need not wait until our hour of distress to find this out.

I believe all of us have something to offer, however small and partial. No matter whether we've ever helped in this way before. Writer and cultural anthropologist Mary Catherine Bateson believes caring can be learned by all human beings, can be worked into the design of every life, meeting an individual need as well as a pervasive need in society. James Keller writes a candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle

What we can do in our caring network is determined by how many people are willing to be involved. We cannot be all things to all people but if everybody does a little, we can all do a lot.

There is a fine Greek proverb for building a caring community. A civilization flourishes when people plant trees under whose shade they will never sit. The success of our caring network depends on you. Plant a tree by filling out the insert in the order of service and if you can, come to the caring network workshop on Saturday.

This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as I live it is my privilege - my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I love. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me; it is a sort of splendid torch which I've got a hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

• George Bernard Shaw

Copyright © 2001 by Rev. Samuel A. Trumbore. All rights reserved.