April has been a difficult month to plan sermons because I have been expecting the Fort Myers Church Search Committee to want particular Sundays. Because of this preoccupation, I failed to notice in March as I was picking sermon titles for April that this would be the 25th anniversary of Earth Day this week. We have timed a few things in the service to coincide with Earth Day - Philomena's discussion of the book project, opening words from Rachel Carson and our deck dedication. The sermon title may not sound much like an Earth Day topic but your clever minister, with some good fortune, will be able to weave them together for you.

Wednesday morning I picked up the paper and saw confirmed what I thought I heard on National Public Radio the day before: moderate exercise is not enough to provide life extension benefits - one must do vigorous exercise. My favorite exercise is bicycling, and I bicycle with Andy in the bike seat perhaps three times a week (when I work at it) for maybe half an hour. And I was feeling good about being able to do this much. The research report however recommended one hour of exercise four times a week. As I put down the paper, disheartened at needing to more than double my cycling to keep fit, I was confronted with a self-improvement or self-acceptance moment.

These are familiar moments for all of us. Charles Miller, our grounds chairman, stands up and invites us to help improve the grounds. We receive a notice in our recycling box that more garbage is recyclable, telling us to separate even more trash for recycling. A friend, colleague, enemy, spouse, child, or parent expresses concern about some pattern of behavior which bothers them. We dine in a restaurant, and after a full meal the seductive waiter brings out a tray of desserts. Later we step on a scale and recoil in horror at what we see. The doctor sits down with us and tells us to reduce our cholesterol, fat, sugar and salt intake because our arteries are hardened and clogged and we are likely to die of a stroke or heart attack.

How we respond in these moments is rooted in our faith.

If we believe that we are inherently sinful and the object of God's disappointment, saved only by the mercy and grace of Jesus Christ, perhaps the decision will move toward resignation or self-loathing. Abhorrence with this lack of faith in humanity motivated our Unitarian and Universalist forbears to found the religious tradition we inherit today.

In the Calvinist theology they protested, salvation was an unearned gift of God which could be detected by signs in our lives, but was ultimately out of our control. The first American Unitarians had a much more hopeful view of humanity, feeling we had much more control of our destiny. Rather than depending on divine whim, we could in essence justify ourselves by our own actions. The evangelicals felt that only through divinely ordained conversion could one become completely sanctified. The early Unitarians felt that conversion was not a momentary change of heart but rather a gradual process of the spirit working within us. The religious imperative of Unitarian faith was self-improvement or, as it was expressed in those times, development of character. David Robinson describes Henry Ware Jr.'s understanding of character development in these words:

Ware did not speak of any instantaneous change of character or regenerative experience. He stressed that the process of character-building is lifelong, and that "its primary characteristic is a certain state of mind and affections[1]."

In contrast to the Unitarian debate with the evangelicals about the process of conversion, which by the way still assumes the need for dealing with the inherent sinfulness of humanity, the Universalists proclaimed that Jesus' atonement was for all people. We didn't need to improve our character or be converted from some depraved state since we were already acceptable to God. Any attempt at self-improvement would be for one's own benefit in this life and would have no repercussions in the hereafter. God would be waiting for us with open arms as our transgressions were eternally washed away by the blood of Jesus on the Cross.

Rev. Richard Gilbert, with whom I interned in Rochester, New York, had some interesting insights into Universalism in a talk titled "Soft Seats and No Hell", a pitch used by a Universalist minister to fill the church on Sunday morning. Rev. Gilbert presented this in October of 1983 to the New York Universalist Convention, which lives on unbowed by the creation of the Unitarian Universalist Association. In his talk he points out that Universalism has had two phases. The first is what he called the Theological phase which concentrated on universal salvation as an antidote to the poison of Calvinism. Gilbert found this delightful quote I thought you might enjoy as well from Robert Ingersoll:

The Unitarian Church has done more than any other church - and maybe more than all other churches - to substitute character for creed...I want to thank the Unitarian Church for what it has done. I want to thank the Universalist Church too. They at least believe in a God who is a gentleman...they believe, at least, in a heavenly father who will leave the latch string out until the last child gets home.

Calvinism gradually became less of a force in our society with the advent of positivism, the belief in social progress arising from the advancements in science and the gradual secularization of our society. At the end of the 19th Century, Universalists realized they had won their battle against Calvinism and were becoming irrelevant to the questions of the day. They had to begin adapting their message to the times. It was then that Ethical Universalism, a Universalism concerned with ethical behavior came to the forefront. Gilbert puts it this way:

In those [first] days [of Universalism] the function of hell was as deterrent to immoral behavior; Heaven's function was to encourage virtuous conduct. It was thought only these external restraints and incentives could produce goodness. The early Universalists had the temerity to suggest the model of a compassionate Jesus and vision of a Loving God were sufficient for the creation of character...This however did not stop Universalist men and women from reforming the world in their time...Hosea Ballou had written: "There is one inevitable criterion of judgment touching religious faith in doctrinal matters: Can you reduce it to practice? If not, have none of it."

These words echo in my mind as I reflect on those moments of decision I face confronting the fork in the road between self-improvement and self- acceptance.

When faced with a moment to begin character improvement, many influences compete within us to motivate our action. Let me use a very simple Earth Day example. When one goes shopping today, one is presented with the choice of paper or plastic for bagging groceries in the checkout line. This is a false choice, because baggers don't usually ask if you brought your own bags. The decision to bring one's own bags can be defined as an act of self-improvement, because it is more ecologically sound to reduce one's consumption and therefore waste. Even the fact that paper and plastic bags may now be recycled is balanced against the energy needed to reprocess the bags which means burning more fossil fuels. The non-reusable waste product of the recycling process must also be discarded in some way. Many of the actions one might take to live more lightly on the earth demanding fewer resources and generating less waste could be classed as self-improvements.

So why should I start bringing my own cloth bags which I can purchase at my grocery store for a nominal fee? There are many reasons. Being friendly to the planet by conserving its resources allows future generations to enjoy the quality of life we now have - and even improve it as air, land and water systems are cleaned up. Being eco-friendly reduces our national interest in dominating the economies of other countries as we raid their resources to feed our own hunger and prevents us from getting into wars over access to oil, food, and wood. Being eco-friendly reduces the use of harmful chemicals which are used in agricultural and manufacturing processes by reducing demand, and encourages these manufacturers to find ways to reuse their waste materials or dispose of them in a way that will create no harm.

Each of these reasons may have a personal angle as well. Looking into a newborn grandchild's eyes and wanting a safe, habitable world in which they shall grow up. Social concern about the way multinational corporations vector their power in banana republics around the world to make them profitable at great human cost (which doesn't show up on any balance sheet) by supporting oppressive political regimes. Concern about one's own health that might be jeopardized by a local manufacturer. All these are personal concerns about the broad implications of one's actions.

Even more personal is looking for ways to put one's faith to practice. Using cloth bags while shopping is a concrete real step toward living the truth of the interdependent web and supporting the development of world community. How we shop and bag our groceries matters. Both our fears, desires and indifference will be operating to influence each decision. Those fears, desires and indifference may not be the best guide for us in these matters. The best guide will be our love. Our love for this blue-green gem hanging in empty space and the fragile life experiment covering its face will most wisely inspire our action.

And there are times when self-improvement may be the wrong course of action and self-acceptance more appropriate. In our narcissistic culture obsessed with power, wealth, body sculpting and self-glorification, there are times to say, let it be. I will not be spending more time on my bicycle to get my four hours of cycling in to ensure an extra year or two of life. The responsibilities to my family and this congregation and the Unitarian Universalism message to the world are more important than my vain desire to live forever. There are times when one should stop trying to change one's spouse and accept them for who they are. There are times when a relationship is so flawed, fractured, and failed that one must accept that the differences between two people can be too great to overcome. There is a time to look in the mirror and just accept what you see, and love the person inside the body more than the imaginary desired or historically-remembered image.

With each self-improvement, there is the promise of new life. With each self- acceptance, there is the recognition of a little death. Both can be right. The challenge for most of us is to decide which way to go.

This self-improvement vs. self-acceptance question is an intensely personal one for me because of my experience of chronic health problems. I have made a number of improvements to the way I eat, seeking digestive health. I have pursued non-traditional remedies in the absence of sound Western solutions. My interest in meditation led to a serious commitment to daily practice which has improved my health tremendously. Yet with all these successes from self- discipline and improvement, each new choice is still difficult. It took me six or seven years of hemming and hawing to decide to bring my own bags to the grocery store, inspired (or perhaps shamed) by seeing Rusty and Dick Stetson in Publix using them. (This "practice what you preach thing" is a real pain!)

There are no creedal solutions I can offer you as to which fork in the road to take. Five years of marriage have proved to me that I am not the authority for anyone else's life and Philomena reminds me when I forget. Socrates long ago took seriously from the Oracle at Delphi the best advice possible to guide our choices, "know thyself" and "everything in moderation."

I found an echo of "know thyself" in the words of the Taoist master Charles Belyea, one of those adventurous Americans who went to the Orient in search of wisdom and actually found some. I'd like to close with some of his words which to my ear sound Unitarian Universalist:

The heart of our [Taoist] view is the human relationship with Nature. When we self-reflect as human beings, we discover that being human is nothing extra-ordinary and, even more importantly, we discover that our existence doesn't need to be repaired, fixed, or reunited with Nature. It is immutably part of Nature It's no use to imitate saints or act in a way premature to your own experience. Simply remain in your experience and feel its real quality. This is the path of immortality. In the West we are extreme idealists, expecting too much and in a constant state of failure because of it. We aspire and hope and fail. When we reflect and discover our own energetic reality, we can see that everything we do has transmission, has energetic effect. We needn't struggle to be good rather than real, to remain young rather than growing old, to avoid making mistakes. The only point is to appreciate our actions in their largest context, without measuring them or looking beyond them to something better[2].

So as you contemplate changes in your life, don't ask me for the answer. Ask me to help give birth to your answer which is already within.

Copyright (c) 1995 by Rev. Samuel A. Trumbore, All Rights Reserved.